The New Year

the year didn't actually start all that well. the moment when the clock struck twelve was really all it was - a moment. all that build up for a quick 'happy new years! hey yay yeah'. was that it? the streamers, the lanterns, the bbq, the punch, the mexican hats? all for that?

fearing that the big moment of phil's barbie had passed without really ever hitting a big note, i jumped in to the huddle circle that we'd all made, and, like they do at the montecarlo grand prix, or tour de france with the champagne, i sacrificed the remnants of my melbourne bitter. i span around the huddle, shaking the bottle, arms outstretched, allowing the remaining contents of my stubby to spring forth around the circle. it was spectacular. out of the bottle, the beer frothed up and flew like the fireworks in sydney, bursting in all directions - into the air, on to phil's hawaiian shirt, back into my open laughing mouth, onto the dead grass. it was indiscriminate, and it soaked anything that happened to be in its path.

unfortunately, the stunt was not met with the appreciation i'd hoped it would receive. the finer nuances of the gag had been lost on most. least impressed was phil's new girlfriend, lydia.

her being about a foot shorter than most at the party meant that the indiscriminate attack actually left her more vulnerable than anyone else. that swivel on the back heel of my sneakers and the 360 super soaker saw a gulp's worth of ale fly right in to her left eye. she was hit. i couldn't believe it. immediately she went to ground. it seemed like the music stopped right then, cause all of a sudden everything went quiet. the mood of the whole party just changed in an instant. i felt the daggers of 36 eyes on the back of my neck. i darted over to try to help her there on the grass, but i was too late. people had crowded around her, forming a sort of wall which prevented me from administering any help. on my tip toes i peered over the shoulders of those in front of me. i could see phil was first on the scene, squatting there on the ground next to his injured girlfriend. his eyes moved from the girl, and, as if magnetised, moved around and locked on to mine. i got a shock. i'd never seen that look from my workmate phil before. the look seemed to say 'you've already done enough mate. just go'. his words were to a very similar effect, though a bit more forceful.

that night i made two new years resolutions at the gordon st bus stop, while waiting for the taxi. i saved them on my phone: 1st january, 12.19 am - resolutions for next year: 1. go to parties where you know more than one person. chances are that jokes will be met with better enthusiasm, or at least a little lee way 2. get to know partners of friends better. be aware of any pre-existing "acute eye conditions".

Big Country

Station Street Strut

Just put Emily on the train

She pressed against the window pane

Her lips

Are red

They curl up at the ends

Just put Emily on the train